Readers Who Write

A funny thing happened to me on the way home from the hardware store. Well, maybe not that funny!

My wife Kerry and I decided to do a little home renovation. On the left side of our house the grade configuration is not user friendly to any visitors with mobility issues. Let’s fix it! With workers selected and budget established, we were ready to break ground.

The plan: Remove the existing railway tie stepped grade and replace it with a gently graded driveway. This concept not only benefits those with mobility concerns, it also increases our off-street parking capabilities.

On a recent Friday, the workers arrived with a mini-dozer and immediately got to work. Eventually they cleared out the old grade and framed in the new one. It was a busy day, especially for me. I had to try and stay a few steps ahead of the workers.

The mailbox needed to be relocated out of the way. It took me almost two days to dig it out — chipping the cement base with a large flathead screwdriver, pry bar and ball-peen hammer. Then I had to tear down a gated fence section so they could continue the driveway into our backyard. Next, a Rubbermaid shed needed to be emptied and then dismantled. It was a long day.

Imagine if you will — you’re hired to build a driveway and you worked a long and hard day yesterday. As you drive up to the job site you glance up and see the homeowner (that would be me) digging up a large trench in the middle of the beautifully compacted base grade that you worked so diligently on the day before. It was kind of funny for a second.

Apparently the dozer found a buried irrigation line and everyone knows that dozers and irrigation water supply lines don’t play well together! Yup, they busted a pipe without realizing it and continued on with their work. When our irrigation system’s zone eight came on at 5 a.m. our work site looked like Old Faithful for the 10-minute cycle duration. What a mess!

I jumped into action with the repairs. Running zone eight confirmed there was a leak (x3). I started digging and cutting. The guys took over the repair, but there was a problem. I didn’t have any PVC cement. I would have to run down to the hardware store.

Kerry was out with the car, so I jumped onto my electric bike and within 10 minutes, I had the glue and was heading home. Just as I reached my house, I lost my grip — I went down. The front wheel turned the wrong way when I stopped and that was all it took. My elbow and knee protected my body and my hand protected my face. My helmet didn’t even touch the ground.

It’s amazing how things go in slow motion when one experiences an event. Well, while I was traveling down (falling) I remembered watching a special on Michael J. Fox. He was walking down the street with his physical therapist. Then suddenly he went down, his walker landing on top of him. As he was helped up onto his feet a young woman walked by. Their eyes met and Michael said in a soft voice, “I’ve fallen for you!”

Nobody saw my fall, thank God! Once my bike was tucked into the garage, somewhat bruised and scratched, just like me, I gave the guys the PVC cement and went back inside to triage my boo-boos.

By the way, the driveway came out beautifully. Wanna’ buy an e-bike?

So you say you want to write?

Go for it.

Send us 500 or so words of scintillating copy. Make it funny. Make it poignant. Make it count. Make it any way you want.

Just don’t cuss. Don’t be boring. And have a point.

If we like it, we’ll run it.

Email submissions to community@rv-times.com. Put “Readers Who Write” in the subject line, and tell us the city where you live.