The last 48 hours within my sphere have delivered the double-barreled blast of sudden dark news. I considered skipping this week because I’m supposed to be the one bearing yucks or travelogues. Then I thought, even clowns have sorry days and challenging times, misery does love company, and I’m not immune. 

We’re all in this soup together, and maybe someone needs to read this. Sometimes it gets a little too hot and we need to blow on it and expose it for what it is.

The salvos began with a wild shot across the bow — a close, otherwise vibrant and healthy relative having been diagnosed with a brain tumor and requiring surgery right away. Then, a very close friends’ mother passed away, not unexpectedly but oh, so final. At least for a time, depending on one’s beliefs, it is. Death always seems like somewhat of a shock, even when it’s imminent. Yes, they’ve been ill and miserable for a long time and we’re happy for their release, but they were someone vital to our makeup. It’s hard.

On the same day, I received a call from my nephew that his dad, my brother-in-law, was on life support in a hospital in Phoenix, Arizona, and my sister Nancy was unable to talk with me, she was so distraught.

If this is what aging holds, I’m not sure I’m up for it, but hang with me. 

When our daughter Emily was at home and facing a raft of obstacles, seemingly good or bad, I reminded her not to look at them all at once. Taking them all in together is like looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Everything is squished together in one big indigestible blob. 

Of course, the first thing I do is remind God that he’s in charge and I want no part of handling the mess. I ask him to take the reins, which of course he has had a firm grasp on the whole time. I call friends and ask them to pray, they do, and it means something more than words in the air.

Gradually, the trial tangle begins to unravel into a timeline. It stretches out and challenges change, become tolerable in a macabre sort of way, or get resolved one at a time. 

My relative got the surgery he needed by a top-notch neurosurgeon at Asante and came through with flying colors. It is astounding what they can accomplish. He likely will go home tomorrow — just two days after brain surgery. Yes, my friend’s mother moved on to a much better place and her family is left with a long lifetime of wonderful memories — some pretty funny ones, too. 

I love how humor will have a hand even in the direst situations. It’s as if we’re not supposed to take this temporary place too seriously, just serious enough.

My brother-in-law probably won’t be with us much longer. Bradly and Nancy have been married for over 40 years. I was their bridesmaid in historical dress. But yesterday, all the kids and grandkids gathered at his side. Nancy held his hand. I trust he felt the love and support that will help illuminate the path forward. Today, I will say goodbye until sometime later via the phone.

As I knew the Phoenix, Arizona, family met at noon, I joined them in spirit while the (Evergreen) roofers at my place hammered and slammed things around on my soon-to-be new carport roof. Life continues. 

The hours-long hammering actually felt like a good thing, distracting me from a too-quiet house. Then, the plumber came to fix a leak that any DIY-er could have taken care of in nothing flat. I told him I had a slow leak somewhere and he informed me it was most likely in my prehistoric galvanized water line outside. I’m about to get an estimate. Life again.

But there are so many lovely times, and joy cannot be extinguished by the temporary darkness.

I will likely be winging my way south soon to be with my sis, and I’m sure we’ll laugh.

Peggy Dover is a freelance writer winging it through life. Reach her at peggydover@gmail.com.