For some time now, I have come to realize that there are many smart people, especially among the younger generations. I am not one of them. 

In the first place, I am no longer among the younger ones and I am certainly not a smart one. When I see these youngsters pulling their slick, almost wafer-thin telephones out of the back pocket of their faded jeans, lightly tap them and immediately see a picture or start a conversation with someone on the other end, I stand perplexed. They easily know how to deal with something that to me is an intricate piece of technology that goes way beyond my mind.

A few months ago, my niece was going to meet me at our local church. It was a Sunday. She had to come from a great distance and had never before been to the church. When she arrived, I asked her how she had been able to find the church. She answered, “I looked at my phone and it told me how to get here.” I have at home at least four such phones but when I look at any of them, they don’t tell me anything. 

One time by accident I pushed some buttons and someone on the other end asked what my emergency was. There was no emergency that I knew of but was told to call my doctor. Now, I ask you, why would I want to call my doctor? He is a very busy man and what would we be talking about anyway? Later on, a friend of mine told me that I should purchase this latest model of a phone. 

It was supposed to be very easy to operate. I did get it, but I still cannot find the nearest gas station or a certain grocery store where I would like to get some items I surely could use. It still does not talk to me and I just put it aside with the others.

When I now see what these youngsters are able to do with their phones, I become convinced that they must have attended a special school to acquire all that knowledge in operating these phones. Maybe it would benefit me too by taking some courses in such a special school. I did check the Yellow Pages for such a school but was unable to find anything of that nature.

 

I have the same problem with my computer as with the phones. I definitely feel that the buttons of print, delete and read are too close together. When I want to read my recently received email, it somehow suddenly disappears and I never get a chance to read any of what was mailed to me. I try to find it on the computer but somehow it seems that it evaporated into thin air. I wonder if it is still floating somewhere in the atmosphere. 

I feel that the atmosphere by now must be filled and very crowded with all these never having read e-mails. What will it take to clean all that up? Maybe it will take some special meteorological action or have the Northern Lights take care of it.

Luckily I still have my landline phone. It has no special buttons but has a rotating wheel on the top with those circular holes where the numbers are located. You put a finger in one of those holes and then turn the dial clock wise and then you are connected with the person you wanted to talk to. It is so very simple and it works every time. We used to have a party line and that was a nice way to find out what was going on in the neighborhood. If you get my drift.

I often wonder what old man Alexander Graham Bell would think about how his marvelous invention has been modified. He would never recognize it and most likely would never be able to use it. Personally, I don’t think that I will ever get the hang of these new toys and inventions.

My sons have been trying for some time to drag me into the 21st century but I am still happy to hang on to my 20th-century habits and my way of life I have used for so many years. These sons keep telling me that I am falling far behind and that I should step aside and let the old times pass me by. Otherwise, they claim, these new inventions and times will run right over me and bury me at the trash pile of outdated phones and computers.

Step into the new world they keep telling me.

Tony Antonides lives in Central Point.