Readers Who Write

In-laws just happen. We are introduced to a group of people who are total strangers one day and the next they become an intimate part of our growing family for life.

If my Susie decides to marry Johnny, all of Johnny’s family are included. Having now reached retirement, I find myself reflecting back upon what has become the beauty of in-laws.

Much to my shame, soon after my marriage to my wife, Kim, the first reaction I had to the word “in-law” was humor. Rodney Dangerfield comes to mind, as only he can get away with, “My mother-in-law came for dinner and asked, ‘Why does your dog keep staring at me?’ I said, ‘Because you’re using his plate.’” He cracked me up.

At one of our first Halloweens as a married couple, a large group of children all dressed in costumes knocked at our door. Behind them in the darkness was a gaggle of parents. As I opened the door with a bowl full of candy, the little girl standing in front was dressed as a scary witch. Out of my mouth pops, “Oh, no, my mother-in-law has come for a visit!”

I smirked, thinking I was entertaining the parents. More than a few laughed. But one young mother, who showed herself to be much more mature and wiser than me, quickly rushed my front door, stuck her finger inches from my face, and with a clinched jaw and a Clint Eastwood growl said, “You’re a sorry excuse of a son-in-law. Shame on you.” She had every right to confront me.

In reality, I became joined to the best mother-in-law ever. Kim’s mother accepted me with open arms. She overlooked my many faults, never attempted to chisel a better man out of me, and was a respecter of boundaries. In-laws just do not come any better than her. She laid the foundation for a beautiful in-law relationship over the years.

Kim also was thrown together with a mother-in-law — my mother. And it was from my mother that I first became cognitive of in-law respect.

My folks lived about 15 hours away. They came for a visit within the first year of our marriage. Kim was needlessly nervous at the visit of her in-laws.

I need to preface this by mentioning my parents were married in 1940. Money was tight. Times were hard. I grew up hearing my mother repeatedly, as in almost daily, having to instruct me to never put anything wooden in a dishwasher. All wood-handle steak knives, carving knives or wooden utensils had to be careful washed by hand. Otherwise, good money is wasted to replace what the dishwasher will destroy. And what does Kim do after our first meal together? Kim is happily chatting with her new mother-in-law as she loads the dishwasher. In goes all the wood handle steak knives and a valued wedding-present carving knife. I happened to be watching. My mother didn’t say a word. She realized it was not her home. She just continued loving upon her new daughter-in-law with joyful talk.

And that brings me back to my mother-in-law. She passed away recently after being my mother-in-law for over 40 years. A couple weeks before the cancer took her, she called me when I was home alone. I’ll never forget what she said.

“Richard, I want to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter. I never had to worry about her at all.”

I promptly choked up.

In-laws — treating those family members with kindness and respect in a way nobody really deserves.

So you say you want to write?

Go for it.

Send us 500 or so words of scintillating copy. Make it funny. Make it poignant. Make it count. Make it any way you want. 

Just don’t cuss. Don’t be boring. And have a point.

If we like it, we’ll run it. 

Email submissions to community@rv-times.com. Put “Readers Who Write” in the subject line, and tell us the city where you live.