Galvin crop

”I urge them to come and come many, many times to enjoy the beauty of Oregon. But I also ask them, for heaven’s sake, don’t move here to live.”

You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of The James G. Blaine Society to recognize the quote — and appreciate the sentiments — of former Gov. Tom McCall’s famed 1971 address to the state’s tourism industry.

Well, it’s taken a half-century or so, but it seems as though folks are starting to take McCall’s advice to heart.

Last year, for the first time — outside of a two-year blip during a housing crash in 1982-83 — the speech that launched a thousand slogans took root, as our population actually decreased.

The U.S. Census Bureau reported that more folks left the state in 2022 than arrived to sing the praises of Oregon, their Oregon.

Yay?

Sure, it’s nice to have a little breathing room, especially when skies filled with fire-season smoke reduce the amount of breathable air. And, if there’s any sense of karmic justice in the universe, those leading the mass exodus are our former neighbors to the south — who, from what I’ve read, are on their way to screw up Boise by Californicating Idaho.

But maybe, just maybe, the population decrease isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Imagine if it continues: The state would have to raise our taxes so that we can receive kickers the size of which we’ve become accustomed.

And if we’re still leaking by the time 2030 rolls around, we’re likely to lose that shiny new seat in the U.S. House of Representatives that we just picked up a year ago — which means another round of legislative redistricting to rile up the underrepresented.

How, you might ask, could this trend continue? (Go ahead, I’ll wait …)

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Oregon’s birth rate, according to something called the World Population Review, is now the third-lowest in the United States. Clearly, we’ve been relying far too much on those invasive Californicators to plant themselves here, since our own seeds aren’t sprouting enough to maintain the circle of life.

Side note: The other six of the top seven states in terms of fertility futility are the group that collectively is called New England — which as a native of the region, I would be asked to learn, if I didn’t understand it completely. Who in their right mind wants more New Englanders?

And what if swarms of Thems leave Usses behind in one swell foop? According to the NonCensus Bureau, if the Greater Idaho movement clears every legislative and legal hurdle, Oregon would lose approximately 216,313 residents — that’s if you add up the populations of the counties that have expressed interest in moving East without going anywhere, but doesn’t include the 25,739 in Crook County, where a vote is being held in May.

Such a heapin’ helpin’ exiting Oregon’s hospitality would put us dangerously close to falling behind Oklahoma … Oklahoma! … on the population charts.

And this doesn’t even take into account the State of Jefferson which, if it ever gets its act together, will siphon 335,763 more of us out of the state — unless, of course, Ashland decides to declare itself a sovereign nation by then.

Personally, I’d love to run the popcorn concession as the battle erupts between the Great Idahoans and the Jeffersonaughts, since both claim the 70,000-plus citizens of Klamath County.

Elsewhere, it appears that the population of Portland is down 18,000 the past two years — which will be 18,001 as soon as the Trail Blazers trade Damian Lillard.

To invoke Howard Cosell … speaking of sports, the possibilities of further departures boggle the mind when the University of Oregon offers history and tradition for free on the sidewalk as it departs for the 18-school Big 10 Conference.

Wait until Ducks fans take a gander at opponents’ home towns such as West Lafayette, Indiana or East Lansing, Michigan, or State College, Pennsylvania. How you gonna keep them down in Eugene once they’ve seen Piscataway?

Piscataway?!? … that’s in New Jersey, in case you don’t follow college sports. The Garden State couldn’t possibly have anything to offer that would fuel the desires of Oregonians to load up the truck and drive 40 hours to eat on I-80 — except, of course, that you still don’t have to pump your own gas there.

Gov. McCall, who decreased the population of Oregon himself in 1983, simply couldn’t have envisioned the sort of calamity that could befall his beloved state five decades after his discouraging words to tourists.

Then again, Oregon ranked 27th among states in population in 1971, and we rank 27th today. People might be leaving, but it appears we’re not going anywhere.