READERS WHO WRITE: The transition buddy and caring for elders

Published 7:00 am Sunday, May 12, 2024

Readers Who Write

When Kerry and I moved from San Diego to Tucson, in 1999, there were perks that went along with this corporate relocation. There was also a huge negative — Kerry’s folks (Chris and Red) would be on their own.

Over the next couple of years we added an “in-law” suite onto our Tucson home, in preparation for that eventual day when they would surrender to their elderly circumstance. One day the call came. It was Kerry’s dad, Red. “We’re ready!”

In September 2010, Kerry’s folks made the move into the winter season of their life.

Now that both of them needed more and more assistance, we all agreed that a change was necessary. We spent the next couple of months preparing for their move-in. The problem was: “What are we going to do with all of their stuff?”

We made large donations to the Gospel Rescue Mission and other charities. We tossed a lot as well. Once their home was cleared, it was time to repair, paint and stage before placing it on the market. All of the possessions they couldn’t (wouldn’t) part with, ended up being stored in our RV garage. We actually had to sell our RV to make room for those “must keep” heirlooms.

Now our family was complete. We cherished those amazing moments when the warmth of family filled our Tucson home. We also laughed at those times when things didn’t seem to be running so smoothly. Yes, Kerry’s dad was probably the only other person I know who can be as hard-headed as me (maybe even a little more).

So, as we experienced the day to day routines of us being their caregivers, we prayed for patience and understanding. Both of Kerry’s folks were dealing with severe medical issues. We also prayed we would be used as a pillar of strength for them as they transitioned through life’s final phase. I ended up retiring early (age 52) so I could devote all of my day to meeting their needs.

Red had multiple doctor appointments every week. I was his personal secretary, cook, dish washer, chauffeur, waiter, bus boy, physical therapist, triage nurse, counselor, maintenance man, electronics engineer, bodyguard, son-in-law, friend and transition buddy. Yes, I promised to help him cross over when it was time. Kerry ended up retiring at the end of the first year to help with the ever-growing elder care responsibilities.

Timeline details

We moved from San Diego to Tucson in 1999. Kerry’s folks moved in with us in 2010 and in August 2012, at 1:10 a.m., Red slipped into eternal peace while Kerry and I held his hands. We prayed and sang “Amazing Grace,” as he departed on his final journey. That was a beautiful moment; a gift for us to forever cherish. Exactly one year and one week later, at 1:10 a.m., Kerry’s mom went to be with her husband, peacefully, in her sleep.

Kerry and I were no longer caregivers. We were blessed for the experience and thankful that we were able to navigate the journey with no regrets. The time was now ours, to do with what we will.

In 2014 we walked away from our life in the Old Pueblo and traded it for a new adventure — life in Jacksonville. We immediately fit in with the town, the pace of life and most of all, the people. Now, 10 years later, we are part of the Jacksonville culture. We fit in perfectly.

Our experience in elder care has come in handy here, especially as we enter our own winter season of life. We know what to expect and face the aging complications with open (aching) arms. And for a transition buddy, Kerry and I have many — you!

Send us your copy So you say you want to write? Go for it. Send us 500 or so words of scintillating copy. Make it funny. Make it poignant. Make it count. Make it any way you want. Just don’t cuss. Don’t be boring. And have a point. If we like it, we’ll run it. Email submissions to community@rv-times.com. Put “Readers Who Write” in the subject line, and tell us the city where you live.

So you say you want to write?

Go for it.

Send us 500 or so words of scintillating copy. Make it funny. Make it poignant. Make it count. Make it any way you want.

Just don’t cuss. Don’t be boring. And have a point.

If we like it, we’ll run it.

Email submissions to community@rv-times.com. Put “Readers Who Write” in the subject line, and tell us the city where you live.

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