A few months ago I turned 90 years old. Therefore, I still belong to the “old old” age group as those that are over 85 are being called.

Many wonder what old age really is. As a matter of fact, nobody knows how it feels to grow old. Many claim that they feel just exactly the way they did at 25. Many say that behind the appearance of age they are the same person with the same thoughts as when they were young. Of course, this could mean that old people reject and deny their own age. Though a more likely interpretation is that experiences like body aches and pains gradually convince people that they are old. To accept this, they must contradict their own internal sense of themselves.

We should take an unclouded look at what old age really is. Often our mental images obscure the truth. But many of the older folks live to a ripe old age and they are often in better health than former generations. This may also be due to the increased ability of doctors to keep people alive when they are in a less than desirable health condition. Your likelihood of becoming one of those “wrinkled, spotted” creatures therefore has greatly increased.

Naturally, we admire seniors who stay vital, who are full of energy and in good health. Most elders fit that description, even into their eighties or nineties. But the admiration can be used unconsciously to distance ourselves from the fearsome realities of aging. People almost always hint that elders who are not active and vibrant are somehow to blame for their condition. They ought to “think young.”

Though the majority of elders seldom become disabled, every aging person lives under the immediate threat of disability, degeneration and loss. A realistic view of aging stares that possibility squarely in the face. Yet, a realistic view of aging is not overwhelmed by fear either. It finds value in every stage of life, including old age.

We all know that old age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly and at least you realize that you’ll never feel well again as before and never be able to move easily, or see or hear well. And old people often wonder whether their life has been worth anything.

William Butler Yeats quoted it this way: “Life is a long preparation for something that never happens.” To this you can also add: melancholy, philosophy, wistfulness — these are common among many older people. But among older believers so are: peacefulness, meditation, prayer, fullness. And there is a general shift from action toward reflection.

When you reach the magic number of 65 in age, and still enjoy good health, you can step back and get away from the work-related chores. Then retirement brings the changes and at the same time, it brings the first great loss — career and continuity. It introduces a new leisure society, one marked by playing golf, vacations and retirement communities. It is a major transition.

The children of seniors can most easily identify with this because it is closest to their experiences. This retirement lifestyle has its effects physically and mentally on body and mind and is not always a positive reaction. But now you can find your easy chair and watch the sun set on the mountain in the West.

Many may never reach that envious time and struggle through the remaining years of their life. 

But remember, too, that the nice thing about retirement years is not that you can sit in front of your window and stare at the distance, but you can sit, do nothing and just think about the beautiful things in life.

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